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aging, elderspeak

Photo by Reno Laithienne on Unsplash.

“Call me honey again and I’ll call you a mother-fucking idiot!”

“Umm…aren’t you overreacting? It’s just a word…”

“Yeah. So is motherfucking.”

“I’m not insulting you! I’m trying to show I care for you!”

“By talking to me like I’m 5 years old? That makes me feel cared-for?”

“I call everybody honey.”

“So do you call your boss ‘honey? What about your doctor?'”

“Of course not. Te would – I mean, I just – ”

“You mean you respect them. Calling someone ‘honey’ shows you see them as lower in. power and status.”

“I think it shows I think you’re cute.”

“Puppies are cute. Kittens are cute. Babies are cute. I am a professional woman. I am not cute.”

“You don’t have to take it so personally! It’s not a big deal!”

“You’re talking down to me, sweetie-pie.”

“Wait – what did you call me?”

“Sweetie-pie. Or would you prefer ‘baby lambchop?’ Or ‘dear?’ Or ‘sweetheart?'”


“Yes, I agree.  Just say ‘Yes ma’am’ next time and we’ll be just fine.”