Photo by Kanashi on Unsplash.
There’s a reason why we take lots more photos of the first child (or first dog). For the first, every moment seems worth recording. By the second, you’re a little jaded. And by the third or fourth? Well, you’ve lost me here.
It’s the same with things we do. How many times can you go to Disneyland? How often can you enjoy shopping in a mall?
The answer varies for each person. But economists tell us we get diminishing marginal returns from each experience. In other words, we enjoy the third cookie a lot less than the first. For “cookie,” substitute anything.
And this is only one of the effects of getting older.. We hear an older person say, “I don’t get excited anymore,” and we say it’s because they’re old.
But what if’s the been-there-done-that effect? What if you’re tired of doing something…even something you really liked once?
People get tired of anything even travel. The first time I flew business class on a long overseas trip, I was ecstatic. I felt like I’d died and gone to heaven. The second time was still fun…but on the third, I was a little less excited. I found myself saying, “Things were better on that other airline.” The section seemed more crowded. The food wasn’t as good.
Some folks maintain their delight no matter how many times they do something. I meet people who never get tired of hiking their favorite trails, eating in their favorite restaurants, or seeing their favorite family and friends.
But others are just tired. Partly they feel a shadow coming over them, a reminder that this may be the last time. But mostly, I think, there’s a very powerful sense of deja vue. The longer you live, the more experiences you have, Inevitably those experiences will be repeated. And each time they’ll be a little less exciting.
I once heard an anthropologist talking about old people in the society she was studying. I think it was somewhere up north.
“When you ask people why someone died,” she said, “they won’t answer with a disease. They’ll just say, ‘She got tired of putting on her clothes every day.'”
And I’m betting that describes a lot of older people, in all cultures, if we’re being honest.
