Image by Catharine Goodwin of her own cat, Muffin.
It finally happened. We’ve been exposed by a politician who attacked us. Thousands of women admit, “We don’t want human children. We want cats. Sometimes dogs too.”
Before you write us off as heartless and shallow, let’s consider all the women who didn’t want kids. They wanted to be Childfree Cat Ladies but they had human babies anyway.
Those aren’t just the horror stories–the kids who are neglected or abused till they’re removed their home and their parents end up in jail. They’re parents who do the bare minimum and hope their kids figure things out on their own. Nobody goes to jail but the kids have therapy bills for the next thirty years.
I remember one parent who said, “Thank goodness my kid is up all night with his computer. We don’t have to go to any games or recitals.” Why didn’t that parent just get a cat and be done with it?
Anyway, some of us liked kids as long as they were other people’s kids. Some of us played “chase the cat” instead of “dress the Barbie.”
I wasn’t always a Cat Lady. For about 20 years I lived with rescue dogs. They got along with the cats, who kept them in line.
Then I said, “No more dogs. I’ve done my time.” I still miss them, though, and I may get another one. If the cat will let me.
That’s what happens with felines. I had two cats and a dog, followed by a few years of two cats and no dog.
Then one cat died and the other seemed relieved to have her gone. She’s thriving as the Only Cat. Given the way most of my cats turned out, she’ll probably live forever. She’s mentioned in my Last Will and Testament, just in case. She won’t end up in a shelter, meowing pitifully and wondering what she’s doing there.
People ask me if I’m lonely. When you have pets you are rarely lonely. You certainly don’t feel alone when a furry feline takes up the whole sofa and wakes you up early so she can eat breakfast.
A medical professional, puzzled by the existence of a single woman getting older, asked, “But how do you get groceries?”
If she’d stopped to think, she’d realize I’m not exactly dying of starvation. I must be getting food from somewhere. She’d also realize we live in a very large American city with at least half a dozen delivery options that I know of and even more that I don’t. She just focused on my increasing age and a recent health problem that kept me from lifting more than 10 pounds — temporarily.
She’s obviously never heard of the book, Solitude, by a British psychiatrist named Anthony Storr. He says some people just favor “work” rather than “love.” We’re perfectly happy and normal. It’s a little dated now, but it’s still good.
“You were smart.” That what a friend said when I admitted I’ve never wanted kids. She went on to say that two of her kids are estranged, one may be on her way to federal prison, and she barely talks to another. Not all families are a source of happiness and fulfillment.
True, cats can disappoint you. Some never acknowledge their luck in finding a good home, instead of being in a shelter, or worse. Some never show affection or even interest in their humans. It goes with the territory. At least they don’t ask you for money to hire a lawyer.
I don’t worry about dying alone. I worry about well-meaning or greedy medical professionals who won’t let me go when the time is right. I worry that humans risk suffering a lot more than cats at the very end.
I’m glad some people have chosen NOT to be Childfree Cat Ladies. We need younger people to keep the planet civilized and growing. They just won’t be mine, ever.
