Image by Gerd Almann from Pixabay.
I’m seeing a lot of posts from people who worry about being alone on Christmas. Some people have lost a spouse or child and they’re alone for the first time. Others just don’t know anyone and feel deprived.
If you’re Single at Heart, you won’t have this problem! Check out my article about enjoying Christmas solitude.
But a lot of articles are written for lonely people. Here’s the advice they usually share…and why it’s wrong: Go volunteer in a homeless shelter (for people) or an animal shelter (for cats and dogs). Or find a soup kitchen and help.
Why is this bad advice?
(1) If you’re already volunteering somewhere, you won’t need to be advised to do more! You’ll know if your usual volunteer scene needs people on holidays. If they do, you can go there.
If you don’t like volunteering, why would you want to offer your services on Christmas? You’ll be miserable!
(2) Many places won’t accept walk-in volunteers. Some don’t need *any* volunteers.
Every animal shelter I know will require volunteers to go through an orientation and training program. Then they’ll give you a badge. Some places for humans also require background checks and/or training.
(3) Many places have too many volunteers.
Will you enjoy your holiday more if you stand around and feel useless? Make sure you’re really needed.
(4) Volunteering doesn’t take the whole day.
You’ll use up a few hours. Then you’ll watch the other volunteers go home to their families and friends. And you’ll feel worse. What will you do with the remaining time?
(5) Some people aren’t suited to volunteering.
Try it out before Christmas. Are you good with kids? Do you like animals? Some people just aren’t cut out for it.
What to do instead?
First, there is nothing wrong with being alone on holidays.
Frankly, many people with families would gladly trade places! Many single people turn down invitations because they *prefer* to be alone.
Second, you can treat Christmas as if it’s just another day (if you’re not religious). What do you usually do by yourself?
OR you can make it special. Figure out what you most enjoy doing and now tell yourself you have a whole day to do it. Eat special foods. Download a special movie. Find out what’s open in your city (some cities have open museums, zoos, or other activities). Read a favorite book.
Most importantly: Don’t compare yourself to people with families. Many of them are even less happy. They’re enduring insults and slights from family members they see once a year. One woman I know never got over hearing her uncle say to her teenaged self, “You really don’t need that second piece of pie.”
Being with strangers (or people you barely know) is worse. You have to be there while they fight. Or you can feel like a fifth wheel because they like each other so much. To be sure, some people take chances with strangers who become their best friends. But it’s a crapshoot.
So forget about volunteering unless you really care about the cause. And if you care, why haven’t you volunteered already? Maybe you’re better at working and donating money to a cause.
Do what makes you happy. Shut out the rest of the world. Remember: they want to be you.
