Image by chew-chew on Unsplash
I’ve often wondered why Amtrak understands that many people want a quiet car and enforces it without apology, while the medical world assumes that noise, chatter, and constant company are our natural state.
On every train ride I’ve taken, the quiet car fills first. That should tell us something.
Some people heal, think, and endure better in silence. We’re not confused, depressed, or in denial. We simply function better without background noise, forced conversation, or a television playing to “keep us company.”
The medical system doesn’t seem to grasp this.
Staff seem programmed to believe that everyone is partnered, has children on standby, and needs constant reassurance through noise and presence. They assume we heal faster with television noise in the background.
The truth is, hospitals are set up to accommodate families. They understand visits, updates, and emotional support. What they don’t understand is a patient who heals best alone, who sees other people as intruders rather than contributors to comfort. They do not see silence as healing. They do not understand people who do not come from traditional families and who voluntarily live alone.
Once, a technician said to me, “It’s too bad you don’t have children to be with you at this time.” I reported her. The response made it clear they didn’t understand the problem.
Logistics make the bias worse. Single patients are often required to produce a spouse or child who can drive them to procedures, wait all day, and take them home. When I was asked, “Don’t you have friends?” I asked whether the coordinator took time off work to chauffeur hers. She said no, then realized what she’d said. She became much more helpful.
In my city, where a third of households consist of one person, medicine still operates from a Norman Rockwell fantasy of family life.
Amtrak can enforce a quiet car because it accepts a simple truth: people have different needs, and silence is not a problem to be fixed. The medical system could learn from that. Healing does not require noise.
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