Photo by Denitsa Kireva on Pexels.
This article from the NYT at first doesn’t seem to be about single people. It’s about people who have children who seek non-biological non-romantic “coparents.”
Whatever you think of the idea of co-parenting, it’s made me realize that modern adults are looking for solutions to life’s challenges outside the traditional family structure and traditional institutions
For example, we hire services to do things when we don’t have family; I get my groceries delivered instead of asking a family member to pick up some items at the grocery store on their way home. People are turning to “life ministers” instead of traditional clergy when they want to get married.
The traditional family works for some people, and when it works, it seems to work better than other solutions. But what if it doesn’t? I just saw a French movie (Driving Madeleine) about a woman whose husband was abusive before women could get divorced on the grounds of domestic violence.
We’re seeing more discussion about estrangement. Oprah had a controversial podcast episode on this topic, but one psychologist she interviewed pointed out that today, people are too stressed to”work through” these issues. She also noted that the entitlement that goes with a family role (“she’s my sister, so she deserves X”) isn’t recognized by a lot of people.
Sadly our society doesn’t always have substitutes. Rules that require teens to deal with their parents on sensitive issues won’t make sense if the parent is abusive. And the medical system assumes we have people on call 24/7 who will risk losing their job to be with someone who needs care.
Being single means saying, “I want something different than what our grandparents were allowed to have.” And so do these other things.
What other ways do you see traditional family and social norms changing? I find this topic intriguing.
