From Depositphotos.
“The ATM is closed.” That’s the punch line in hundreds of video stories I’ve read on YouTube.
It means the hero – the only financially stable person in the family – has come to a last-straw moment. No more paying rent, subsidizing vacations, and sharing cellphone services with deadbeat relatives. No more getting treated with scorn by the very people you’re helping.
The hero now finds freedom and extra income. Divorcing the family once seemed drastic. Now they shrug when their entitled relatives get stranded or even arrested.
What surprised me in the videos I watched:
- The hero is single, occasionally widowed, but never a married couple.
- The stories were obviously AI-generated, yet they garnered thousands of views and hundreds of comments. Even knowing the stories were fake, the audience rooted for the hero.
- The theme, “Entitled ungrateful relatives get their comeuppance,” has infinite variations.
Why does this particular plot resonate with so many people?
It ties to another element of storytelling: People like to see justice done. They like to see the altruistic hero rewarded and the entitled relatives punished.
In a real story told on an Internet show, a single person buys a house with a swimming pool. He won’t allow his brother’s family to come over and bring their small children; he doesn’t want the hassle or the liability. When they sneak in while he’s gone, he calls the police, who cite them for trespassing.
Compare this to an imaginary story on video. A man invites 12 people to a birthday dinner. Another twelve of his uninvited relatives show up and take over the assigned table. They order the most expensive food and wine and try to say they’re with the hero.
The hero not only refuses to accept the charges; it turns out he owns part of the restaurant and he sets up his party as a separate event in another room. When the uninvited guests can’t pay their bill, the restaurant calls the police to arrest them on charges of theft of services.
The comments on these videos strongly support the hero. “I wouldn’t have paid for them all those years” or even, “I’ve been there, and I did the same thing.”
Family members are often assigned roles based on their economic power.
High earners can be the fairy godmother who donates large sums, or they can be the wicked witch who sets boundaries and holds back.
While I was writing this article, a columnist for the Washington Post published an article by columnist Michelle Singletary: “Why your wealthy friend does not owe you a luxury lifestyle.”
She could have called it “Why your rich relatives don’t owe you a lifetime subsidy.”
She writes about a friendship between Savannah James, the wife of LeBron James, and her friend April McDaniel. The column talked about the fact that on a plane trip, Savannah chose to fly first class and April paid for her own ticket in business class. (Several comments pointed out that business class is also pretty good, but still…)
Some people were horrified at this arrangement, but I think it’s an excellent example of setting limits. Savannah didn’t want to fly unless she could go first class. Given that she’s married to a legendary athlete, we might assume she could easily afford an upgrade for April.
But as Singletary pointed out, boundaries like these make the friendship sustainable. I’ve never seen articles on this topic, but I suspect boundaries make it possible for people of different income levels to sustain meaningful family relationships, too.
Singletary makes several practical suggestions. The “rich friend” should be aware of the other person’s budget, but should not assume the other person needs money. The person with less income should not expect to be subsidized.
She even adds that anyone who borrows money from a wealthier friend or relative should establish a payment plan, not assume it’s a gift. And, of course, don’t borrow from them in the first place, if at all possible.
What impresses me is how much the video stories resonate with readers. I suspect a lot of people out there feel like they’ve been treated like the family ATM.
I suspect that most of the time boundaries are invisible but very firm: “We wouldn’t think of asking Aunt Mabel.” But a lot of times it’s, “She’s single, so she won’t mind.” Or worse: “We deserve it.”
True, sometimes helping friends and family can be meaningful and satisfying.
But it’s hard to deny the satisfaction that comes from keeping those entitled people out of your hard-earned swimming pool. Thousands of people voting “thumbs up” say these videos are onto something.
