From Depositphotos.
She was a young country music singer faced with what looked like a once-in-a-lifetime offer in the music business. But she still said “no” to Elvis Presley.
As she tells it, the night before the taping, Elvis’s manager, Colonel Tom Parker, called to say they were ready to record, but Elvis only recorded songs when he held at least half the rights to the song.
Dolly, of course, was shocked and disappointed. After all, as Business Insider writes, “In what world does a young, sequined country singer with just a handful of chart-toppers to her name turn down a special request from the King of Rock?”
According to that article, she “cried all night,” but she said no. So the recording was canceled.
Of course, the world knows that Dolly got her validation when she handed a Grammy award to Whitney Houston, for perhaps the most famous and successful cover of the song.
Beneath all that glitter, Dolly was a shrewd businesswoman. She knew one of the most important skills in business and life: the ability to walk away from a deal that violates your principles with a firm “No.”
I’m always surprised to learn how many successful people have a history of walking away from something: houses, jobs, possessions, relationships, and often even family or what looks like a once-in-a-lifetime deal.
Several years ago, I was living in a condo which originally seemed like the best deal I’d ever had. I loved the first six or seven years. Then things went sour. The management company seemed to be making bad decisions. The board seemed cowardly. Even the environment changed as the outside got louder.
At first I tried to see if change was possible. I didn’t think I could leave. Too many pets. A challenging market. An unsellable condo.
Fast forward another seven years and I wonder what took me so long to move. I found a small condo in a well-managed building. The location turned out to be ideal. I moved just in time to grab ultra-low interest rates. Best of all, due to the building’s configuration, it’s as quiet as a retreat house. They’ll have to carry me out feet first.
Walking away doesn’t always feel strong when you’re in the middle of doing it.
You see the obstacles, the hassle, and sometimes the pain. You anticipate all sorts of future regrets. And in most “walk-away” decisions, you don’t get the payoff for a long time – sometimes years…the inner voice that says quietly, “You did the right thing.”
I’ve walked away from many deals over the years. I wasn’t always right…But I usually was.
Sometimes I see posts like: “My partner is a jerk. I’m blocked from getting what I want in life.” Or when a single person says, “I felt unwelcome at the family reunion.”
The writer knows it’s time to walk away, but the obstacles seem formidable. And maybe they’re seeking validation and permission: It really IS worth the scary decision.
Dolly Parton’s world of country music has always held this wisdom.
Like the Kenny Rogers song about the old gambler’s advice: Know when to hold and when to fold.
Or when Faron Young told a radio station that didn’t want to play Charley Pride, a black artist, “If you take him off, take all of my records off.”
Or Alan Jackson’s decision to risk going off-script sing a George Jones song at the CMA awards, when Jones himself was slighted by the industry.
And more intensely, that George Jones song about the man who didn’t get his place out in the country until everything else – including his own life – was gone. It’s about somebody who didn’t walk away for thirty years…didn’t even set limits.
It’s one of the saddest songs in the repertoire about what happens if you live your life for others and never dare to say no…and what’s waiting for you at the end.
