by CathyG | Sep 7, 2014 | pollyanna views of aging
I’m tired of hearing that 50 is the new 30 and 60 is the new 40. Here’s what’s different as you get to the 60 mark and beyond.
1 – It’s harder to predict where you’ll be 5 or 10 years from now – sometimes even one year.
When you’re 40 or 50, if you’re healthy, the odds are very high that you’ll be the same for another five to ten years. You can make plans. It makes sense to invest in long-term growth stocks and your new business.
When you’re in your sixties, with each year, you’re less sure. Sure, some 70-year-olds and 75-year-olds are running marathons and businesses. But it’t not unheard of to keel over with a completely unexpected stroke or heart attack. Often, says a cardiologist I know, the first symptom of heart disease is a fatal heart attack.
2 – You stop saying, “Never say never.” Some things just won’t happen. You don’t have enough time.
3 – You realize you won’t outlive everything you own. Why buy more clothes? The t-shirts I have now will last another 10-15 years.
4 – You become comfortable with the idea of dying. It’s gonna happen. It’s more about dying a good death than living a long time. I’m more scared of going into a nursing home than I am of dying.
5 – You realize your days are limited and you want to make each one count. So you resent sitting around in waiting rooms or wasting your time on things that don’t contribute to your welfare or anybody else’s. You don’t have time to suffer fools gladly.
And, if you’re like me, you don’t hesitate to tell them, using language as colorful as possible.
by CathyG | Sep 3, 2014 | stereotypes of aging
Cartoon circling around Facebook, suggesting that people get all saggy and baggy as they age.
First of all, a lot of the time you can prevent sags and bags with exercise, if you start early enough.
And second, there’s not much you can do about sagging and bagging, in some cases. It goes with the territory. Even if you’re totally fit your skin won’t hang the same way as you age.
We don’t make fun of disabled people. Why is this funny?
by CathyG | Aug 31, 2014 | medical care
Today’s Wall Street Journal had yet another story by a disillusioned doctor: Why doctors are sick of their profession
Jauhar actually offers a balanced view. He points out that doctors were warned they would kill the goose that laid the golden eggs; many doctors still perform unnecessary surgery. I am healthy and rarely see doctors, yet when I had a small ovarian cyst, a doctor tried to persuade me to undergo a complete hysterectomy! I switched doctors and had an outpatient procedure in just a few hours.
The irony is that managed care often doesn’t prevent unnecessary or wasteful treatment. The term “preventive care” should be replaced with “risk reduction medicine.” Much of a primary care doctor’s work involves screenings of perfectly healthy, asymptomatic people that cannot be justified by research findings.
Doctors are still trained to memorize molecular structures but they need courses in statistics and decision making. Recently the WSJ published a review by a cardiologist who insisted that deaths from heart disease were down by 60%. I looked up the numbers: the reduction was 172/100,000 and that doesn’t account for things like errors in coding causes of death.
And while doctors complain bitterly about lack of respect, many of them persist in making elderly patients (and those close to end of life) suffer with unnecessary treatment. Just read any list of comments in a NYT article. I’ve heard first-hand accounts of 90-year-olds given colonoscopies, paid by Medicare; a doctor writes about aging Alzheimer’s patients getting painful needle tests for diabetes, ordered by a doctor, who can’t be stopped. yet few insurance companies give them what they need – massage, good food and privacy. I’ve heard even more horror stories of doctors who disregard DNR orders and who think they’re doing a service by keeping someone alive for a meaningless, drugged-up existence in a nursing home.
Finally, doctors have limited accountability. It is very, very hard to sue a doctor. Doctors make claims on their websites (and in practice) without disclaimers and disclosures of conflict of interest. Eye doctors actually place ads in their office magazines (“Want great vision? Talk to us about …”) without warning that these procedures do not always turn out well and sometimes make vision worse.
by CathyG | Aug 12, 2014 | health care waste
The New York Times article (Unkind Life For Young and Old, Aug 7) highlights yet another way the US wastes money. It costs $100,000 a year to maintain an aging prisoner, and prisons aren’t exactly geared for “aging in place.” They have unsafe stairwells, a ban on canes and of course no geriatricians on staff.
Geriatric prisoners rarely pose a threat to society so there’s little reason to keep them.
Jamie Fellner, author of a Human Rights Watch, was quoted in another article as saying, “Age should not be a get-out-of-jail-free card.” But why not? In some countries, people over 70 do not go to prison, period. I doubt that we’d see many people over 70 suddenly going on crime sprees; the rare cases of white collar crime, like Madoff, could be handled with supervised probation or fines.
by CathyG | Aug 6, 2014 | health care waste
The New York Times :Why We Should Know The Price Of Medical Tests. http://nyti.ms/1ooBGQP
My comment:
Oh come on … the outrageous amount we spend on health care isn’t driven by saving a few bucks here and there on price-shopping.
Just for starters, Medicare pays $300 million a year for pre-op tests for outpatient cataract surgery, when research shows these tests have no impact on outcomes. Then there are billions spend on “end of life” care because doctors and hospitals disregard DNR and DNI, even when the correct forms are in the charts.
And the billions spent on “preventive care” that doesn’t prevent anything; at most you get risk reduction, usually a small amount.
And the inflated hospital charges ($147 for a Tylenol, $500 for a bag of salt water). I’d be willing to bet that 30-50% of these “medical tests” are not even necessary.
So now they want sick people to shop around to save a few bucks? And a hospital can say, legally, that prices are secret so you can’t even if you want to?
No wonder we’re not hearing much about the Mafia. They’re probably running the medical industrial complex.
by CathyG | Jul 15, 2014 | dying with dignity
In this article, Addressing Capacity, Dr. Mark Lachs notes that 40-50% of people over 85% have some form of cognitive impairment.
In one example, a woman refuses to admit caretakers to her home. “What if there’s a fire?” she’s asked.
If she says, “I’m willing to take the risk,” she may just not be aware of what’s going on.
If she says, “I’ve lived a long life and I am willing to take that chance to maintain my privacy and independence. I can wear a life alert pendant.”
Dr. Lachs notes that people have the right to make that choice. I wish more doctors did.
by CathyG | Jun 21, 2014 | stereotypes of aging
(1) Your own personal cyanide pill. At this point, modern medicine can only do so much for you. If you want to check out, you should be able to do so, on your own terms, without explaining to anyone.
If you’re worried about upsetting your family, you should get access to a hitman from your local Mafia enclave. They’ll make it quick, clean and painless. Your family will be told, “An unfortunate accident and she had no pain at the end.”
(2) The right to use 4-letter words, including the F-word, any time, especially when you’re talking to a doctor, an insurance company, or some broker who cold-called you to transfer your IRA to his company. You’d be surprised how much gets done after you call somebody a mother-fucking idiot.
(3) The ability to make a citizen’s arrest of anyone who calls you “honey” or “dear,” especially in a professional setting. If they grew up in South Philly, they can plead mitigating circumstances.
(4) The right to knock somebody on their ass if they grab your arm without permission, thinking they’re being kind and helpful, when in fact they’re being patronizing and controlling.
Alternatively, you can hand them your big heavy backpack and say, “Oh, that’s so nice, dear – how about carrying this for me?” all the way to the door of your gym.
(5) The right to opt-out forever from all age-related mailing lists, especially those invitations from AARP and those newsletters from health care agencies, hearing aid companies and hospitals.
by CathyG | May 23, 2014 | Uncategorized
The social aspects of aging are by far the most difficult, in my experience, and the least understood. Often we experience altercasting – the way we’re pushed into roles and respond to those involuntary roles through a social interaction.
The brief video on social aspects of aging underestimated the cruelty associated with aging, which can be experienced any time after 35 or 40. It is true that some cultures treat older people better than the US does. However, it’s not clear what roles are appropriate or why special roles should be reserved for people over 60.
I do many things that are not age-appropriate – in my late sixties, I wear shorts, work on the Internet, take classes, workout – and every so often someone will say something that reminds me I’m older than most of the group. I’ve also found that any quirk or unusual quality is attributed to aging, even though it’s something that hasn’t changed for years. Age is the strongest signifier of status – even stronger than gender, sexual preference or (usually) race.
Another social phenomena is the toleration of negative stereotypes of aging. I remember watching a TV morning show years ago, where an “older” women was being interviewed because she did skydiving. The anchor was smiling in a patronizing way, as if to say, “That is so cute.” Similarly we see thousands of Youtube videos showing older women dancing, which is supposed to be amusing. One movie reviewer (wish I’d kept the clipping) wrote that, “It is funny to see older people enjoying themselves.” Can you imagine saying that about black people or disabled people?
Vernon Jordan wrote a book about growing up black. In one episode he was sitting at a table reading a book in a home his mother was cleaning. The lady of the house exclaimed, “Why, Vernon can read!” Most of us would be horrified, yet we tolerate a similar view from social and public media. We see a video of an elderly woman dancing and say, “Why, this old lady can shake her butt!”
I have never liked children and have no interest in activities that would put me around children. I’m not getting mellower; I’ve always been direct and outspoken and I’m still that way. The difference is that many people (especially medical people) expect to deal with sweet, docile old people; it has been necessary to use some colorful language to get them to pay attention, especially when I’m there alone. I don’t necessarily want “respect.” I just want to be treated like an adult who’s paying the bills; I deserve respect as a customer, not for my age.
Moreover, while other cultures treat the elderly with respect, preliterate tribes would leave elders behind when they were too weak to go on the tribal journeys. Some would kill and eat the elders. If you asked, I think many people would rather experience those customs than be locked up home with extreme pain, no meaningful life and the high probability of abuse.
by CathyG | May 4, 2014 | stereotypes of aging
Recently the WSJ published a silly article suggesting that older people are “nicer,” based on scores from a standard personality test. Aside from the fact that I hate personality tests, I was horrified and offended. The WSJ seems to be perpetuating the stereotype of older people as easier to push around.
One person responded with gusto. Read the letter here. He’s not nice at all, he says. Telemarketers don’t call back. His internist sends an assistant to examine him. He’s not warm and fuzzy at all.
My role model in fact!
by CathyG | Apr 15, 2014 | medical care, single life
Single people die younger. According to this article, the difference might be due to a spouse who nags you to eat better or see a doctor. I think it’s also likely that you’ll get better care from doctors when a family member can advocate for you. Read the article here.
And here’s another article about positive effects of marriage on men’s health. Click here.
One thing that gets ignored is the way the health care system views single versus married people. It’s assumed that you’ll have a family member pick you up after outpatient surgery. The Family Medical Leave provides only for care of a parent, spouse or child – not even a brother or niece, let alone a friend. People can’t get off work to drive a friend home from the hospital, especially in the middle of the day with short notice. Additionally, we keep hearing that it’s important to have family members with you if you’re in a hospital; otherwise you’re far more subject to medical errors, neglect and even outright abuse.
Some people genuinely enjoy their own solitude and single status. In terms of aging, that’s a plus, because we’re more independent and less likely to mourn. But getting care becomes a massive invasion of privacy, with limited options for support.
