by CathyG | Jan 11, 2015 | stereotypes of aging
Stereotypes of aging got reinforced with this photo that got uploaded to Facebook today. I wrote :
“Another ageist stereotype. The man in the cartoon isn’t a 67-year old. Many – perhaps most – people in their late 60s do not need help. A lot of people in their 80s could dash up those steps. We don’t make fun of Asian, gay or black people. Why older folks?”
The response was predictable: “Perhaps we ought to have a sense of humor about our own health problems.”
So I wrote again:
“The danger of laughing at “our aches and pains” is that we tend to attribute health issues to aging when they’re more likely to be related to activity, food or side effects of medication.
“The problem is, when you encourage people to laugh at older people, then ALL older people won’t be taken seriously when they apply for a job or tell the doctors “No thanks, I don’t want that test.”
“The price of ‘cute’ is being treated like a child or a puppy.
“It’s like black people and watermelon jokes. Or jokes about women drivers, which used to be considered appropriate. It seems harmless till you realize the hidden message.”
by CathyG | Oct 26, 2014 | stereotypes of aging
Re article in today’s NYT: What if Age Is Nothing But A Mindset.
In the paper issue of the NYT, a teaser subhead asks,”How far can positive thinking take us?”
Misleading!
Ellen Langer’s research is not related to positive thinking or even mindset. She creates interventions (scientists refer to “manipulations,” a word with neutral or even positive connotations in social science).
Langer just compares the results of those who experienced the intervention with those who did not. The people in the study were not asked to imagine or think anything; they just experienced.
Langer’s studies consistently suggest that these interventions are successful, but it’s another step to suggest that we can create our own intervention by mental gymnastics. That’s another research agenda.
What these results DO show is that people respond to environmental cues in ways that deserve further exploration.
This finding is important because people over 60 or 65 are exposed to negative cues every single day, even if they’re healthy and fit, simply by reactions of people they deal with. Doctors and most medical professions stereotype by age: in fact, many just use the age number to make recommendations, without considering the whole person and the context. (Just google “doctors stereotype aging patients” if you don’t believe me.)
Some young women in my gym have come up to say something like, “It’s nice to see someone your age…” or even the more subtle, “Did you enjoy this class?” – a question that the 20-somethings wouldn’t be asked. Even if the questioners mean well, I’m jolted out of my zone, where I’m just another person taking class, and reminded once again that I’m supposed to be “old.”
It’s always tempting to punch those people in the nose, thus demonstrating my lack of frailty. But I prefer to shock them with recommendations like, “Just stop going to doctors and you’ll age well, too.”
by CathyG | Sep 15, 2014 | single life, stereotypes of aging
In an article about seniors who show up malnourished in emergency rooms, NYT author Judith Graham suggests social isolation might be a factor.
“Who likes to eat alone?” she asks rhetorically.
More and more of us live in one-person households by choice. Some people like to eat alone and it’s time everyone realized that’s a perfectly appropriate choice to make.
If a room is filled with noisy conversation I won’t eat, period. Stress isn’t good for digestion and anyway I want to enjoy my food.
When you like living alone (and census data shows more and more of us do), you obviously like eating alone. We don’t need stigmatizing comments or rhetorical questions with an agenda.
by CathyG | Sep 3, 2014 | stereotypes of aging
Cartoon circling around Facebook, suggesting that people get all saggy and baggy as they age.
First of all, a lot of the time you can prevent sags and bags with exercise, if you start early enough.
And second, there’s not much you can do about sagging and bagging, in some cases. It goes with the territory. Even if you’re totally fit your skin won’t hang the same way as you age.
We don’t make fun of disabled people. Why is this funny?
by CathyG | Jun 21, 2014 | stereotypes of aging
(1) Your own personal cyanide pill. At this point, modern medicine can only do so much for you. If you want to check out, you should be able to do so, on your own terms, without explaining to anyone.
If you’re worried about upsetting your family, you should get access to a hitman from your local Mafia enclave. They’ll make it quick, clean and painless. Your family will be told, “An unfortunate accident and she had no pain at the end.”
(2) The right to use 4-letter words, including the F-word, any time, especially when you’re talking to a doctor, an insurance company, or some broker who cold-called you to transfer your IRA to his company. You’d be surprised how much gets done after you call somebody a mother-fucking idiot.
(3) The ability to make a citizen’s arrest of anyone who calls you “honey” or “dear,” especially in a professional setting. If they grew up in South Philly, they can plead mitigating circumstances.
(4) The right to knock somebody on their ass if they grab your arm without permission, thinking they’re being kind and helpful, when in fact they’re being patronizing and controlling.
Alternatively, you can hand them your big heavy backpack and say, “Oh, that’s so nice, dear – how about carrying this for me?” all the way to the door of your gym.
(5) The right to opt-out forever from all age-related mailing lists, especially those invitations from AARP and those newsletters from health care agencies, hearing aid companies and hospitals.
by CathyG | May 4, 2014 | stereotypes of aging
Recently the WSJ published a silly article suggesting that older people are “nicer,” based on scores from a standard personality test. Aside from the fact that I hate personality tests, I was horrified and offended. The WSJ seems to be perpetuating the stereotype of older people as easier to push around.
One person responded with gusto. Read the letter here. He’s not nice at all, he says. Telemarketers don’t call back. His internist sends an assistant to examine him. He’s not warm and fuzzy at all.
My role model in fact!
